Personally, when it comes to style, I like to think I can be a bit adventurous. Sure, there are certain styles that I don’t feel comfortable in, and absolutely will not wear (I’m still not a fan of the 2 piece bathing suit on me thanks to some large shingles scars on my abdomen), but, these articles of clothes below go WAY beyond adventurous, into the realm of hilarity and bad taste.
- The Balloon Ball Gown
I’m all for art, but let’s be practical here. How are you supposed to sit at dinner without popping your butt? If you drop a fork, you have a 1 in 10 chance of losing a boob. Also, what is that ugly wing on the top? Are you trying to look like some weird, bouncy house Statue Of Liberty? No thanks. I’ll pass on this one.
2. This Horrifying Spongebob Shirt
Seriously- who would wear this? I don’t want some gross, yellow, crusty eyes placed where my breasts are supposed to go. Consumers can buy this tank on belovedshirts.com for $34.95, but you couldn’t pay me 10x that amount to wear this garbage.
3. This Free People Cashmere Romper
I want so badly to like this, but from the back it looks like her hoo-ha is hanging down to her knees… I don’t think this would be a flattering style for anyone. Free People makes some beautiful items- this is not one of them.
4. This Guy Fieri One-Piece Bathing Suit
Another gem from belovedshirts.com, this bathing suit is one of the most disturbing articles of clothing ever created. Let’s not even talk about the poor placement of where his beard ends up. Nothing against Guy Fieri- truthfully I don’t think ANYONE’S face belongs on a bathing suit, but his is a particularly hard sell.
5. These Chuck Taylor Pants
Now I love me some Chucks on my feet, but that’s as far as they go. These shoes were NOT made to be worn as pants, and this picture is proof. Also, beyond them being so dang ugly, who in their right mind would want to lace those puppies up and down every time you wear them? I’m going to guess no one.
6. This Angry Dog Shirt
This… just isn’t pleasant to look at. Give me cute dogs of any kind on any given article of clothing, and you get a resounding yes (let it be known that I believe ALL dogs are cute… they all make me swoon). Give me cute dogs making angry faces like this one, and It’ll be a hard no.
7. This Serial-Killer Ninja Clown Knit Mask
It’s like Ronald McDonald meets the Hamburgler, meets an ice-cream cone, meets Michael Myers. This is the stuff nightmares are made of.
8. These X-Ray Vision Leggings
The skin on our body has a plethora of uses. Apparently, one of ones I had taken for granted was hiding the gross ugliness that is the inside of our bodies. How about we just make a pact as a human race that we don’t wear clothing graphically depicting what our insides look like? Kthanksbye.
9. Whatever The Heck This Is:
This doesn’t even look like a practical article of clothing for moms. What are you supposed to do when the time comes to change a diaper, strip? That poor baby looks like it’s about to pop out of her chest and dance like that weird alien thing from the movie Spaceballs.
10. This Party City Centerpiece
This dress looks like a cross between a 99 cent dollar store centerpiece, and a weird fairy princess outfit I used to play dress up with. It doesn’t belong at any red carpet affair (unless maybe your seat is smack dab in the middle of the table, and even then, probably not). This dress gets a hard no.